NIR Nearly Intelligent Robot
by Quietus
Summary: 100 years after the Armada's downfall, Zim is long dead. The universe is at stake. Only you can save it.


Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim, I do, however, own this empty can of Pepsi.  
  
A/N: This is going to be a very unusual fic, so bear with me. Okay, this story is told in your POV. Now, before you get all confused, read this intro thoroughly. You are on planet Earth, 60 or so years after Zim has died. You eventually find a diary that Zim has written, and it tells of a secret weapon, something that could destroy the entire universe if not handled correctly. You will have two numbers to choose from at the bottom of this page: 77 or 88. If you choose correctly, you will save the universe, and live happily ever after. If you choose wrong, you will destroy the universe. You will not know which number (77 or 88) will lead you to safety. If you choose, say, 77, there will be a chapter after this one (the Beginning) called: If You Choose 77, and you read that chapter. Got it? If you don't, please tell me, and I will try to explain more clearly. (If you have ever read the Goosebumps You Choose the Scare series, you will probably know how to do this.) Please proceed to the story below.  
  
100 years after Operation Impending Doom One, the Irken Empire lies in desolate ruins. The Tallest and everything ever existing of Irkens is floating slowly toward oblivion. The planet is scarred and ugly; huge, deep craters make up most of what was once a thriving empire. Nobody knows what happened, not even Zim and his robot Gir. No, Zim will never know, as Zim is now buried 10 feet in soil. It is the year 2063, on a cold November morning.  
  
You slowly descend down the stairs after a restless night's sleep, yawning and rubbing your eyes. You finally make it down to the kitchen of your aunt's house, as you are staying with her until your parents get back from Hawaii. You are almost jumping for joy that it was Saturday.  
  
"Good morning!" your aunt says cheerfully, cooking an all-vegetarian breakfast: Wheat toast with organic jelly, organic milk, almond pancakes, and a bowl of fresh fruit. You would usually enjoy this healthy breakfast, but your stomach felt as though there was a rock in it.  
  
"'Morning." You grumble as you take a seat on a wooden chair. You wanted to eat breakfast quickly, so you could take a walk. November had always been your favorite month, even if there was school.  
  
"What would you like to eat, sweetie?" Your aunt said. She smiled widely. You had always been a bit creeped out by her; being so happy all the time, as though that's the only thing she knew how to do. Not only that, but she had purple hair! Completely strange.  
  
"See ya!" You say after your already halfway out the door, wheat toast in your mouth. Finally, you can get away from her!  
  
Looking around, you survey your surroundings. The town was small, filled with many birch trees, and oaks. You stop to gaze at the old Skool, the one that's been there for over 100 years. It was old, rotting boards and broken glasses made up most of it's interior. A small, distorted, playground stood empty and rusty to the side of the Skool.  
  
You decide to break in, just to see the inside. The Skool had been closed off years before; nobody knew why, nobody asked. So it stayed. You reach the front of the school, and started up the steps.  
  
You open up the creaky door, where a lonely picture of a red hared boy and a green skinned boy stood holding hands, with the words 'Bestest Friends' written crudely below. You step into the front hall, where beetles scurry away as you step over them. You step into a room labeled 'Principals Office'. Inside, everything looked as though nobody had touched it for years.  
  
You cough as dust falls from the ceiling. You glance at the desk, where you notice a yearbook sitting serenely. You pick it up and brush off the dust. You open it up, and see the headline "Class of '03 ". You look at each picture and name.  
  
" Keef, Spooge, Snorky, Dib, Gaz." You mutter, and then stare, shocked at the picture labeled 'Gaz'. A purple hared girl stood glaring at the camera. It was your aunt. At least it looked like her. But it couldn't be.  
  
You keep glancing at names and pictures, uninterested until you reach a picture labeled 'Zim'. A green skinned boy clad with black, shiny, hair, and unusually zipper-like teeth. He looked familiar, but you have never seen him before in your entire life.  
  
As you close the book, you notice another, black bound book, laying on the floor. It seemed unusual, just lying there, as though someone had dropped it years ago, and hadn't bothered to pick it up. As you pick it up, you hear a noise. You stiffen, wondering who it is. You hear voices.  
  
"Yeah, this school has had this coming for years." A male voice sneers, and another deep voice sniggers.  
  
"Where should we let it off?" one of them asks.  
  
"Right there. We need to do this quick." Another mutters.  
  
"Right." You hear footsteps close to the door, so you quietly hide behind the desk. Crouching with the book still in your hands, you slow your breath. You hear someone light a match. 'That can't be good.' You think.  
  
"Hurry, let's scram!" Footsteps quickly run toward the door. Slowly, you look under the desk. A bright red, but small, piece of dynamite lay on the floor, as if daring you to leave. The light was almost down to the tip. You scramble, but trip over a small trash can you didn't see.  
  
BOOOOOOMMMM!  
  
The dynamite explodes, sending you crashing into the wall opposite of the door. Half of the ceiling crashes close to your head. You cover your head with the book you picked up, trying not to get your neck broken.  
  
A large chunk of ceiling falls on your back, and you howl in pain. You lay on your back, your head whirling, and your back tingling with intense pain.  
  
"Ugh." You moan, the worst of the bomb over with. Pushing the slab off of your back, you stand up and race toward the door. All you knew is that you wanted to get out of there. Fast.  
  
Finally exiting the Skool, you decide to walk off the soreness on your back. You walk over a crisp, dewy lawn, toward a park bench. It is then that you notice that you are still clutching the black book to your chest. You slowly open the book, wondering what lay beyond the mysteriously blank cover.  
  
You read:  
  
17, July 2007  
  
The Tallest have informed me of something dreadful, terrible. If anyone should find it, it would either be destruction or salvation of this universe. N.I.R that's what it's called. Nearly Intelligent Robot. Why they would call it nearly intelligent is beyond my knowledge. It is way beyond intelligence, it is, nothing I can describe.  
  
Ingardem Well Insedy  
  
"Ingardem Well Insedy?" you mutter, not understanding what it means. Is it Latin? It's starting to drizzle, so you decide to go home. Taking a shortcut, you run over front yards to get home before it starts to pour. You stop at a weird looking house with dirt dug up in the front yard. Another thing wrong with this city: If someone moves out of a house, nobody moves into it.  
  
Already soaked by the rain, you decide to explore. You start to walk up the front pathway when you see a bunch of lawn gnomes with glowing red eyes. You walk over to the house mailbox and see that there is still a letter inside.  
  
Tucking the letter inside the diary, you descend toward the front door.  
  
"YEOWCH!"  
  
A lawn gnome was pointing at you, with lasers shooting from it's eyes! You run towards the house, and other lawn gnomes start to shoot at you. You rip open the front door before the gnomes make you a fried chicken.  
  
The first thing you notice is the ceiling. Wires looped around it, covering the entire top of the house. The second thing you notice is a weird stain on the carpet with a familiar smell of chocolate-bubblegum. Looking at the walls, you see a picture of a monkey, badly torn and moth eaten. Close to that is a picture of a squid.  
  
Turning toward the kitchen, you notice several mistakes. One, a toilet is sitting on the wall opposite of you. Another is that there is bacon lying on a pan on the table. Yet another, as you turn toward the toilet, is that there is a weird gurgling sound coming from it. You notice a red button by the toilet.  
  
You push it. Suddenly, the toilet makes a strong sucking sound, and you are pulled down into it!  
  
You twirl, faster and faster, until you reach the bottom of a lab. Walking crookedly towards the large computer in the lab, you see a small robot singing to himself.  
  
"Doom, doom, doom, du, doom." He sings, also playing with what looks like a moose and a pig.  
  
"Um, excuse me?" you address it.  
  
It slowly focuses its large, aqua colored eyes on you.  
  
"HI!" it screams, smiling stupidly at you. Smiling at its stupidity, you see a large machine in the corner, with red and blue lights on one side.  
  
"What is this place?" You ask the little robot, which is now doing a dance.  
  
"It used to be masters lab, before he stopped moving." It says to you.  
  
'Stopped moving?' you think as you continue to observe the lab. Turning to the diary, you flip to a page with pictures on it. Several machines were drawn in it that were in the lab. The secret weapon must be here!  
  
As you walk over to one of the machines, the robot suddenly collapses on the ground. Wondering what was wrong, you pick up the little robot.  
  
"Hey, are you alright?" you ask it. It suddenly comes back to life, it's eyes red. For a second, it grips your arm real hard, then it's eyes turn it's normal blue color. Wondering what this robot was, you consult the diary.  
  
2, August 2003,  
  
I have several ideas on where to hide the weapon, before the Dib human finds it. Gir plays a big part in the plan, if he doesn't find out what's going on. More later.  
  
You close the book, believing that this robot must be Gir. You walk over to the computer, where a bunch of images and instructions are shown. The instructions are in English, but some of it has symbols you don't recognize. You press a couple of letters on the keyboard. A picture shows up of a young boy with big glasses and really spiky black hair. Under the picture is written 'Dib'. You recognize the boy from the yearbook in the deserted Skool.  
  
The robot Gir suddenly goes berserk. It bangs it's head against the wall, yelling and screaming. You try to quiet him down, but he just keeps jumping around and screaming. You don't know what to do.  
  
A/N: Here's the part where you choose a number. 77 or 88. In a couple of days, I will have both parts of the story up, so choose the number wisely. Thank you, see you later! 


End file.
